Make It Real

This is the first step in my journey--the personal resolution. I haven't done much yet. I haven't bought a plane ticket. I haven't talked to anybody over there. I don't know much German.

However, as Ellen said to me tonight, sometimes you have a feeling in your gut that you want to do something--because it will be fun, because it's an arts capital, because you're 24 years old and you don't want to turn 25 without really doing something memorable and terrifying.

Right now, my plan is:

1) Buy plane ticket for 3rd week in May.

2) Fly over, find hostel or sublet.

3) Resolve paperwork in first week related to residency.

4) Find ways to learn German.

5) Get a bike.

6) Start meeting other artists and working on new projects.

Since I work from my computer, the only work-related necessity is going to be wi-fi. I have googled wifi hotspots in Berlin, on the whole, it would be best if this were something that was available at the hostel or sublet. I am not opposed to subletting until I've been there a while.

My friend in Toastmaster's, James, doesn't think now is a good time to move to Berlin. The value of the dollar, etc. But I don't care. I'm not as intrigued about moving somewhere that the dollar is still strong; perhaps after I have been in Berlin a bit and experienced the cost, I will feel differently.

I am not opposed to changing my plan to live in Berlin, but I would like to try it for 6 months or so before I completely abandon this as a goal.

The hardest thing, I think, will be leaving my family again. I love them very much, but I feel very annoyed with myself being here. I feel like I'm not doing anything and all we do is drive around and shop and eat a lot. This is undesirable for all parties. But I think this is just my melancholy speaking right now. Ordinarily, I have a marvelous time with Mom and Corinne. But I think our times will be more marvelous once I am exploring a new path for myself.

Well, back to the work that will support me on my journey: writing grants. I am working hard to become the world's greatest grant writer. I have a lot of mentors and heroes helping me to achieve this and I hope that my plans to experience life abroad will not jeopardize my progress in this employment.

But if they do, I think of Henry Miller and all the different jobs he worked. I think of many people who have had many different jobs. I am good at many things and will do my best to work hard and deliver results in any task that comes my way.

I need a good sign off: how about something cheesy, like, "Here's to your travel dreams...and nightmares!" That would suggest that the bad experiences are as valuable as the good. For now I'll leave it with a simple "Auf Weidersehen." <3